As a Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist, I often receive questions from individuals who are in long-term committed relationships and find themselves fantasizing more about sex with other people as the years go by. If you’re experiencing this, know that you’re not alone. It’s a common experience, and it’s important to understand that it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong with the relationship or the individual.
Here are some reasons why this might be happening:
- Over time, sexual desire and attraction can naturally decrease in long-term relationships. This can lead to a desire for novelty and excitement, which may manifest as fantasies about sex with other people.
- Having sexual fantasies is a normal and healthy part of human sexuality. There is nothing inherently wrong with fantasizing about sex with other people.
- The individual may be experiencing unfulfilled sexual needs or desires within their current relationship. They may be fantasizing about other people as a way to explore these desires or to compensate for what they feel is lacking in their current sexual relationship.
- Stress and anxiety: If an individual is experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety in their daily life, they may turn to sexual fantasies as a way to cope or escape.
- Boredom: Even if a relationship is otherwise healthy, it’s possible for individuals to feel bored or unfulfilled sexually. Fantasizing about others can be a way to add excitement and novelty to their sex life.
- Curiosity: Some people may simply be curious about what it would be like to have sex with someone else, even if they are happy in their current relationship.
- Past experiences: If an individual has had previous sexual experiences with someone else that were particularly enjoyable or exciting, they may fantasize about those experiences again.
- 8. Physical changes: As we age, our bodies change and our sexual desires and preferences may shift. An individual may find themselves fantasizing about different types of people or sexual experiences as their body changes.
Remember, there is no one “right” reason why someone may fantasize about others in a long-term relationship. It’s important to explore these fantasies in a safe and consensual way, and to communicate openly with your partner about your desires and needs.
It’s important to note that having sexual fantasies about other people does not necessarily mean that the individual wants to act on those fantasies or that they are unhappy in their current relationship. As long as these fantasies are not acted upon in a way that violates the trust and boundaries of the relationship, they are generally considered to be harmless.
If you’re experiencing persistent and distressing sexual fantasies, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or sexologist to explore the underlying reasons for these fantasies and to develop strategies for coping with them.
As a Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist, I offer private sesssions to help individuals navigate their sexual desires and develop healthy coping strategies. If you’re interested in learning more about my services, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Remember, fantasizing about others is normal and healthy. Don’t be afraid to explore your desires and communicate with your partner in a non-judgmental and open way.