How to Recognize and Avoid Microcheating

Posted On: July 8, 2024

How to Recognize and Avoid Microcheating

Microcheating is a form of infidelity that is often overlooked and misunderstood. It is a subtle form of cheating that involves behaviors such as flirting, sending intimate messages, or spending too much time with someone other than your partner. In this blog, we will explore what microcheating is, provide examples of microcheating, offer advice for people who suspect their partner is microcheating, provide scripts to call out microcheating, discuss what you can do around microcheating, and provide tips on how to heal after microcheating. We hope that this blog will help you understand microcheating and how to deal with it.

What is Microcheating?

Microcheating is a term used to describe a range of behaviours that are considered to be inappropriate in a relationship. These behaviours can range from flirting with someone else to having an emotional connection with someone outside of the relationship.

Examples of Microcheating

  1. Flirting: Flirting is often seen as harmless fun, but it can be a form of microcheating if it is done with someone other than your partner. Flirting can involve exchanging compliments, making suggestive comments, or engaging in physical contact.
  2. Texting: Texting someone outside of your relationship can be a form of microcheating. This can include sending flirtatious messages, sharing secrets, or exchanging intimate photos.
  3. Social Media: Social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but it can also be used to engage in microcheating. This could include liking or commenting on someone else’s posts, sending private messages, or following someone who is not your partner.
  4. Meeting Up: Meeting up with someone other than your partner for lunch or coffee can be a form of microcheating. Even if there is no physical contact, it can still be seen as inappropriate if your partner is not aware of the meeting.
  5. Hiding Relationships: Hiding relationships from your partner is another form of microcheating. This could include keeping secrets about past relationships or current friendships, or not being honest about how much time you spend with someone else.
  6. Gift Giving: Giving gifts to someone other than your partner can also be seen as microcheating. This could include buying gifts for an ex-partner or sending gifts to someone you are interested in romantically.

If You suspect Microcheating

  1. Be honest and direct with your partner about your concerns. It is important to express your feelings in a respectful way, and to give them the opportunity to explain their behavior.
  2. Ask questions and listen to their responses. It is important to understand why they may be engaging in microcheating and how it makes you feel.
  3. Consider seeking professional help if the situation is too difficult to resolve on your own. A therapist can help you both process your feelings and work through any underlying issues that may be contributing to the microcheating.
  4. Establish clear boundaries and expectations for the relationship going forward. Make sure that both of you are on the same page about what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
  5. Take time for yourself if needed. It can be difficult to process these emotions, so make sure to take care of yourself during this time.

Advice around Microcheating
If you are considering engaging in microcheating, it is important to remember that even seemingly small actions can have a big impact on your relationship. It is important to think carefully about the potential consequences of your actions and to consider how your partner might feel if they were to find out. If you are unsure about whether or not an action constitutes microcheating, it is best to talk openly and honestly with your partner about it. This will help ensure that both of you are on the same page about what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship.

Scripts to call out Microcheating

  1. “I feel like you’re not being honest with me. Are you microcheating?”
  2. “I noticed that you have been spending a lot of time with [person] lately. Is there something going on between you two?”
  3. “I’m feeling insecure about our relationship and I think it’s because of your behavior with [person]. Can we talk about it?”
  4. “I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore. Are you microcheating?”
  5. “I’m not comfortable with the amount of time you’re spending with [person]. Can we talk about it?”
  6. “I feel like you’re not being honest with me about your relationship with [person]. Can we discuss it?”
  7. “I’m worried that you may be microcheating on me. Can we talk about it?”
  8. “I’m not okay with the way you’re acting around [person]. Can we talk about it?”
  9. “I don’t think our relationship is as strong as it used to be and I think it’s because of your behavior with [person]. Can we discuss it?”
  10. “I’m feeling really hurt and betrayed by your actions with [person]. Can we talk about it?”

How to heal after Microcheating

  1. Acknowledge their feelings: “I understand that you feel hurt and betrayed by my actions.”
  2. Apologize: “I’m sorry for what I did and how it made you feel.”
  3. Explain your intentions: “I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. I was just trying to be friendly.”
  4. Reassure them: “I want you to know that I value our relationship and I will do my best to make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
  5. Ask for forgiveness: “Can you forgive me for my mistake?”
  6. Take responsibility: “I take full responsibility for my actions and I will do whatever it takes to make things right.”
  7. Seek professional support: “How about if we go for counseling to better work through this?”

Microcheating is a form of infidelity that can be difficult to detect and can have a significant impact on relationships. It is important to be aware of the signs of microcheating and to have honest conversations with your partner about what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationship. If you suspect that your partner is engaging in microcheating, it is important to be direct and honest with them about your concerns. There are also scripts you can use to call out microcheating if you feel comfortable doing so. Finally, if you have been the victim of microcheating, it is important to take time to heal and process the situation.

We hope you enjoyed this article. Do book a free 15 min consult with us to get support on improving your personal relationships!

For relationship counseling and/ or sexuality counseling, do contact us here. 

Eroscoaching Logo

Get sex tips straight in your mailbox!