As counsellors specialising in relationships and intimacy, we believe that informed consent, trauma-informed care, and enthusiastic consent are essential components of healthy and respectful sexual experiences.

Informed consent refers to the process of obtaining clear and explicit agreement from all parties involved in a sexual encounter. This means that all individuals must have a clear understanding of what they are agreeing to, including the nature of the sexual activity, any potential risks or consequences, and their right to withdraw consent at any time. Informed consent requires ongoing communication and a willingness to listen and respect the boundaries of others.

Informed Consent:

1. “Before we start, I want to make sure we’re on the same page. Can we talk about what we’re both comfortable with and what our boundaries are?”
2. “I’d like to try something new, but I want to make sure it’s okay with you first. Can we discuss it and make sure we’re both comfortable?”
3. “I want to check in with you and make sure you’re still okay with what we’re doing. Do you need a break or want to stop?”

Trauma-informed care is an approach that recognizes the impact of past trauma on an individual’s physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. This includes understanding how trauma can affect an individual’s ability to give and receive consent, as well as their comfort level with different types of sexual activity. Trauma-informed care involves creating a safe and supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable discussing their experiences and setting boundaries.

Trauma-Informed Care:

1. “I know that some people have had negative experiences in the past, and I want to make sure that I’m not triggering anything for you. Is there anything you’d like me to avoid or be aware of?”
2. “I understand that trust can be difficult after experiencing trauma. Is there anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable and safe?”
3. “I want to make sure that we’re taking things at a pace that feels good for you. Let me know if you need me to slow down or stop at any point.”

Enthusiastic consent goes beyond simply obtaining agreement from all parties involved in a sexual encounter. It requires active participation and engagement from all individuals, as well as a genuine desire to engage in sexual activity. Enthusiastic consent means that all individuals should feel excited and enthusiastic about the sexual encounter, rather than simply going along with it out of obligation or pressure.

Enthusiastic Consent:

1. “Is this something you really want to do? I only want to proceed if you’re excited about it too.”
2. “I’m really into this idea, but only if you are too. Are you feeling enthusiastic about it?”
3. “Let’s make sure we’re both fully on board before we move forward. Are you enthusiastically consenting to this?”

Together, informed consent, trauma-informed care, and enthusiastic consent can help create a culture of respect and safety around sexuality. They promote open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to listen to the needs and boundaries of others. By embracing these principles, we can create healthier and more fulfilling sexual experiences for all individuals involved.

If you have questions or concerns about how to practice informed consent, trauma-informed care, and enthusiastic consent in your own sexual experiences, do seek private consultation with us for personalized guidance and support. Together, you can explore strategies for navigating sexual boundaries, healing from past traumas, and building healthy relationships based on mutual respect and communication.

We hope you enjoyed this article. Do book a free 15 min consult with us to get support on improving your personal relationships!

For relationship counseling and/ or sexuality counseling, do contact us here.